Heartsick

With one unthinking motion
I fell into the ocean
And sunk down to the bottom
Of your heart
Everything was broken
But I went right on hoping
That someday we would never
Be apart

Now all I see
Are bones, bones, bones
All I see are bones, bones
Bones

Fences needed mending
Wheat fields needing tending
The scarecrow’s breath grew heavy
In the air
We started pretending
Our crippled hearts were mending
Funnel clouds were forming
Everywhere

Now all I see
Are bones, bones, bones
All I see are bones, bones
Bones

Old black voodoo magic
Buried in a casket
Summoning the wisdom
From below
But all we got was static
We climbed up to the attic
And watched the rain
Turn slowly into snow

Now all I see
Are bones, bones, bones
All I see are bones, bones
Bones

Seasons changing without warning
Changing as we sleep
Apples rotting on the hillside
Where we used to meet

Long, long ago
Long, long ago

Nightmares forming on the window
Mocking and obscene
Dripping down unto the pillow
Where you used to dream

Long, long ago
Long, long ago

My old car is rusting quickly
In this ceaseless rain
All my memories flood out of me
There you are again

Long, long ago
Long, long ago

In the gloaming of the night
When all the lights are shivering
I am thinking of you dear
And on the floor I’m withering
And I know that you miss me
And I know that you’re sorry
Wherever you are

Into the phone I carved your voice
Up to my ear I hold it tight
But now the sound is cold and dull
And everything just isn’t right
And I know that you miss me
And I know that you’re sorry
Wherever you are

On my skull I feel your steps
But when I look you’re never there
Out on the street I see your dress
I touched your shadow on the stair
And I know that you miss me
And I know that you’re sorry
Wherever you are

Whirlwind, whirlwind take me back
To the days before the accident
Everyone’s here for the feast of fear

Whirlwind, whirlwind we’re all dust
Among these beasts who can I trust?
Everyone’s here for the feast of fear

Blow it away
Blow it all away
Whirlwind, whirlwind

Whirlwind, whirlwind help me breathe
Within this cage of burning leaves
Everyone’s here for the feast of fear

Blow it away
Blow it all away
Whirlwind, whirlwind

Everyone’s saying my mind is unsound
’Cause I always see you when you aren’t around
I see you in pages of old dusty books
I see you in places no one else would look

Oh I’m going crazy
You’re driving me crazy

I went out walking alone in the park
I heard you whisper it broke my old heart
People were laughing and pointing at me
Shaking their heads without no sympathy

Oh I’m going crazy
You’re driving me crazy

And I just want
I just want to cry

What is the price of an untroubled mind?
Is there a place that your soul cannot find?
They’re gonna wrap me in a jacket of white
And lock me away in a room without light

Oh I’m going crazy
You’re driving me crazy

And I just want
I just want to cry

Over this hill there’s happiness
Just around the bend there’s happiness
Oh I wish that it were so

All our precious work is meaningless
In the cold vacuum of time it’s meaningless
And we know that it is so

Searching through these ruins for tenderness
Clutching in the dark for tenderness
But we always come up cold

Behold our slow decline to nothingness
We fight but we are blind to nothingness
Oh we’re never coming home

It has been so long since
I have seen the light of day
Sickness fell upon our home
And carried you away

Tearing out, tearing out
You’re tearing out my heart

Long ago and far away
When everything was grand
I held you just like a bird
Within my tired hand

Tearing out, tearing out
You’re tearing out my heart

Though I know that everything
Will never be the same
Still I wander through the house
A-whimpering your name

Tearing out, tearing out
Tearing out my heart

Those tear ducts broke
A flood came out
There was no soul in whom I could confide
The thoughts I held
In your nightmares dwelled
And they crushed me like the incoming tide

That unnameable pain
That incurable longing for something
But there is nothing

Mother did crawl
To the garden wall
And a thorn tore a hole in her side
Slowly she bled
Then the green grass stained red
And I crawled down her throat for to hide

That unnameable pain
That incurable longing for something
But there is nothing

It seemed to me that summer
It would never come again
I watched the snow through dusty windowpanes
Every time I dreamed at night
I woke up filled with terror
Silent things were floating in the air

And I wonder how you sleep
And I wonder how you breathe

Do you have a tourniquet?
I swear it’s not for me
The blood it seems to be now ankle deep
Ice is weighing down the trees,
They’re bending down their heads
I can’t remember anything you said

And I wonder how you sleep
And I wonder how you breathe

All the rusted cages that
I kept out in the yard
Those rabid feral creatures were set free
Now they circle ’round the house
And I can’t go outside
I’m running out of places I can hide

And I wonder how you sleep
And I wonder how you breathe

No one must know
That you are here
Lost in the dark of my cold heart

If they could look
What terror they’d see
Here in the dark of my cold heart

Cruel as a storm at sea
Dim as the light that guided thee

Walking a trail
Through bright dead leaves
Blind in the dark of my cold heart

Summer will come
But you won’t be found
Trapped in the dark of my cold heart

Cruel as a storm at sea
Dim as the light that guided thee

Why do you lay with the sheep every night?
I know you are one of the wolves
When it is dark and the moon it is bright
Hate fits your heart like a glove
I’ve taken you for granted

What is the name of the curse in your eyes?
Never its kind have I seen
Colors they change with the shifting of tides
From black to yellow to green
I’ve taken you for granted

For years you had longed for a fast sinking ship
On the coast of the emerald sea
In the water last night your fingers did dip
And death was delivered from thee
I’ve taken you for granted

Soon you’ll be going, soon you’ll be gone
Soon you’ll be sleeping under the pond
My heart is breaking, my heart is broke
You were my final undying hope

Why must they lie? Why must they cheat?
Why must I put them all down to sleep?

There is a river burning with fire
One wooden nickel I add to the pyre
Oh I’m so tired, oh I’m so lost
What is the price sir to lift me across?

Why must they lie? Why must they cheat?
Why must I put them all down to sleep?

Time is a vulture pecking my brain
This is a nightmare but I won’t complain
Drink down the poison, raise up your eyes
This is the end of painful goodbyes

Why must they lie? Why must they cheat?
Why must I put them all down to sleep?